


What You Don't Expect When You're Expecting

by sparkinglovingheart



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Crack, Humor, New Avengers, Pregnancy, Sibling Incest, Team as Family, Twincest, Unplanned Pregnancy, clint is so done, maxicest, pietro is freaking out, scott is too helpful, supportive everybody, vision is a wierdo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-17
Updated: 2015-09-17
Packaged: 2018-04-21 04:54:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4815770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparkinglovingheart/pseuds/sparkinglovingheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wanda's having a baby. Everyone else is having too much fun. Pietro is probably going to have a heart attack. Fluff, crack, and lots of love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What You Don't Expect When You're Expecting

**Author's Note:**

  * For [maximoffs_against_the_world](https://archiveofourown.org/users/maximoffs_against_the_world/gifts).



> maximoffsagainstheworld, I hope you like this! :) It was a LOT of fun to write.

_**1\. You don’t expect that you might actually be happy about it.**_  
  
  
_Damn it, damn it, damn it!_  
  
Maybe she had imagined all of this. Maybe this was all some horrible dream. Hell, maybe four positive pregnancy tests and a doctor were all wrong and this was a hilarious misunderstanding.  
  
Wanda groaned and slumped against the bedroom wall. She and Pietro were nineteen-practically teenagers. They couldn’t even legally drink in the United States (although their status as Avengers and some very helpful superpowers got them a free pass pretty much anywhere they went).  
  
And now they were going to have a baby. Somehow, everything they had faced up until this point seemed a lot less scary. There was nothing more life changing for them than this.  
  
Clint was going to kill them. He knew that they were in love, but he also seemed to be under the impression that they were both innocent virgins and slept in the same room just so they could snuggle. Wanda had never had a problem with letting him think that, but the charade was out the window now. She buried her face in her hands and tried not to cry.  
  
“Wanda?” Pietro appeared at the door, “Steve wants to know if you…what’s wrong?”  
  
“Everything,” she moaned, “We’re in so much trouble.”  
  
“What? Why?” he dropped to his knees in front of her and took her face in his hands, “Sweetheart, talk to me. It’s okay.”  
  
“It’s not! You’re going to freak out.”  
  
“I promise I won’t,” he kissed her forehead, “Just tell me, and I’ll try to make it better, alright?”  
  
_Oh, if only you could._  
  
Wanda closed her eyes, took a deep breath and blurted out, “I’m pregnant.”  
  
Pietro’s jaw dropped and he fixated his eyes on hers, unmoving for a good minute and a half. For once, he was entirely still, frozen in shock. Wanda touched his arm, “Pietro?”  
  
“I…” he finally choked out, “You’re…okay, if that’s a joke, it’s not funny.”  
  
“I’m not joking!” she jerked her hand away, “I took four tests and they were all positive and then I went to the doctor today. She told me.”  
  
“Oh my God,” it seemed to finally be sinking in, “Oh my God. Oh shit.”  
  
“I know.”  
  
“But…” he stuttered, “We were careful.”  
  
“Well, it’s not ever guaranteed to work all the time.  And now I’m pregnant and we’re both too young, and I don’t know what to do!”  
  
“Okay,” Pietro tried to soothe her, “It’s okay. How do you feel about it? Really.”  
  
Wanda bit her lip, “I mean…I’m scared. But we have always wanted to have a baby.”  
  
“It’s sooner than we expected.”  
  
“And we’re probably not ready.”  
  
“Is anyone ever really ready for something like this?”  
  
She laughed softly though her tears, “No, I don’t think so. How do you feel?”  
  
He shrugged, “Besides the shock? Maybe it’s not a terrible thing. I mean, we’re young and everything, but we’ve dealt with everything life’s handed us pretty well so far. We can handle having a baby.”  
  
“I can handle it,” she teased, “I’m the one who’s going to be pregnant for nine months, you know.”  
  
“Okay, you can handle it and I’ll be here for support,” he leaned into give her a swift kiss, “So are you alright, sweetheart? That’s what I care about.”  
  
“Yes,” Wanda could finally feel herself start to really breathe again, “I’m alright. This is good, isn’t it? We’re going to be a family.”  
  
“Yeah, we are.”  
  
“We’re going to be a family,” she repeated it, as if that somehow made the whole thing more real, “Oh God. This is really happening. We’re going to have a baby!”  
  
Pietro was a little surprised when she threw her arms around him, but relaxed within seconds and hugged her back. He pressed a kiss to her temple and murmured, “I love you.”  
  
Wanda hugged him tighter, “I love you too.”  
  
  
  
**_2\. You don’t expect telling people to be so terrifying._ **  
  
Okay, admittedly the twins did think that telling the team would be rather nerve wracking, but not to the extent that Pietro was shaking in fear and Wanda seemed to shrink back into the couch.  
  
“What’s going on?” Steve asked as calmly as possible, “I want you guys to be honest. Whatever it is, we can work through it.”  
  
Wanda looked at Clint, who looked so terribly worried, Clint who had been like a father to them for the past five months, and her lip started to tremble. Pietro noticed and put a comforting arm around her, “Something’s happened. It’s pretty big.”  
  
“Are you sick, Wanda?” Rhodey asked, “I heard you throwing up. Is it serious?”  
  
“It is serious, but I’m not sick,” she mumbled, “I’m…I’m pregnant.”  
  
For a moment the room was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop. Then, Clint screamed. He didn’t say anything in particular. He just stood there and screamed.  
  
_“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?”_ he roared, _“HOW COULD YOU BE SO IRRESPONSIBLE? I THOUGHT YOU TWO WERE VIRGINS! I THOUGHT YOU WERE SO INNOCENT!”_  
  
Pietro looked mildly terrified, “We were responsible.”  
  
“Obviously not fucking enough!”  
  
“Yeah, nice going Maximoff,” Sam put in, “You knocked up your sister.”  
  
The grin on his face let Pietro know he was joking, but he threw him a dirty look anyway, “Not helping, Wilson.”  
  
“Oh God,” Clint clutched at his chest, “I raised you better than this.”  
  
“You didn’t raise us.”  
  
“This is terrible!” he continued, “You’re too young! You shouldn’t be having sex! You should be going to birthday parties and watching cartoons!”  
  
Wanda sighed, “We’re nineteen, not nine. We’ve talked about it, and we’re actually really happy. It’s sooner than we expected but-”  
  
“You didn’t use a condom, did you? Do you even know what a condom is?”  
  
“Clint!” Natasha snapped, “Calm down. You’re freaking everyone out.”  
  
He waved his hands around madly, “Am I the only one upset by this?” 

Steve put a hand up, “Wanda and Pietro are both consenting adults, they’re very mature for their age, and I think worse things could have happened than them having a baby. We can survive this if we can deal with giant killer robots and armies from outer space.”  
  
“But what if-”  
  
“Clint,” Scott cut in, “I was only a year older than them when I had Cassie.”  
  
“That was different!” he raged, “You’re you, and they’re….them!”  
  
“You’re making no sense.”  
  
“I don’t have to make sense!” he snapped before stomping away, “I need some air.”  
  
As soon as he had slammed the door, Steve gave the twins a sympathetic look, “He’s protective of you guys, that’s all. He’ll come around.”  
  
“I know,” Wanda smiled a little sadly, “But thank you, Steve.”  
  
“No thanks needed. We’re here for you guys.”  
  
“Yeah, congratulations,” Sam said, “This is really exciting. Should be an interesting nine months.”  
  
Nobody really had any idea exactly how interesting it would be.  
  
  
_**3\. You don’t expect that the morning sickness extends beyond the pregnant woman.**_  
  
Nobody liked to be around Wanda when she was ill or hurt, not because she was whiny or demanding, but because she was so sad, miserable and pathetic that it just made everyone else feel like shit just for being well. Pietro usually took care of his sister since they were hardly ever sick at the same time, which was why he didn’t understand why he felt nauseous while she was throwing up in the bathroom.  
  
“I’m not the pregnant one,” he groaned, “So why do I feel like hell?”  
  
“Sympathy pains,” Scott said wisely, “I used to get them when Maggie was pregnant. Basically you feel so bad that your partner is sick that you start to get sick yourself. Also, aren’t you guys mentally connected or something?”  
  
“Something like that,” Pietro muttered, rubbing his forehead, “Oh God, I can’t believe I did this to her.”  
  
Clint grumbled something and Natasha aimed a kick at his shin just as Wanda stumbled into the kitchen, “S-sorry.”  
  
“Jeez, don’t apologize,” Sam said, “You have a human being in your uterus. Want a pancake?”  
For a moment Wanda looked relieved, “Yes, that sounds-wait.” she clapped her hand over her mouth and ran out of the room again. Pietro followed her and held her hair back.  
  
“I hate this,” she moaned.  
  
“I know, baby. Is there anything I can do?”  
  
She sighed and leaned back against him, “Just stay with me. How can I be so hungry and so repulsed by food at the same time?”  
  
“The child is fucking with us.”  
  
She lurched forward again and started retching, “Y-yeah, no kidding.”  
  
  
**_4\. You don’t expect sonograms to be so awkward._**  
  
Pietro was supportive and caring in every which way, but he absolutely hated doctors and hospitals. They always made him edgy and when he was edgy, he tended to somehow become rather socially awkward, which was why Wanda didn’t seem to expect a whole lot from him when they went to learn the gender of the baby. The man running the sonogram, Doctor Reed Richards, seemed somewhat crabby already, and Pietro’s hovering and “helpful suggestions” weren’t making matters any better.  
  
“Looks like a girl to me,” Doctor Richards said, “She’s tiny.”  
  
Wanda grabbed her brother’s hand excitedly, “Did you hear that? A little girl!”  
  
He kissed her forehead, “Just like you said.”  
  
“She’s healthy,” Doctor Richards said flatly, “Which is fortunate given your…situation.”  
  
Pietro glared at him, “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”  
  
“Pietro,” Wanda said in a warning voice, “Calm down. Just look at how sweet she is!”  
  
He squinted at the screen. Doctor Richards had said that the baby was tiny, but it already looked rather big to Pietro for someone to carry around in their body for nine months, “You’re going to push that out of your..you know."  
  
Wanda glared at him and Doctor Richards gave him an appalled look, “The fetus exits vaginally, Mr. Maximoff.”  
  
“Whatever,” he muttered, “Uh…is she happy?”  
  
“You can’t tell if a fetus is happy or not, Mr. Maximoff. The sonogram offers no facial-”  
  
“Okay. Forget it.”  
  


**_5\. You don’t expect childbirth class to be even worse._**  
  
The childbirth class in question was made up of the twins, Sam, Natasha, Vision, Rhodey, Steve, and Scott, who led the whole thing since he was the only one of them who had actually ever had anything to do with pregnancy. Unfortunately, that made him far from an expert.  
  
“Okay,” he read off of the page he had printed from online, “Now just breathe really deep. Everyone try.”  
  
Wanda was situated on her back between her brother’s legs. Sam and Natasha were in the same position, and so were Clint and Vision and Steve and Rhodey, who both looked very uncomfortable. The latter protested, “Can’t we just watch?”  
  
“Team effort, guys,” Scott told them, “Come on, it’s just deep breathing. Think of it like meditation.”  
  
“I _do_ enjoy meditation,” Vision said serenely, “And this miracle of life is quite beautiful indeed. Every step is lovely, particularly the night in which the twins here did the human act of taking off all your clothing and-”  
  
“Okay, thanks,” Scott cut him off quickly, “Now everyone just breath in an AB pattern.”  
  
Wanda stared at him, “A what?”  
  
“An AB pattern. You know like, breathe one way and then another way, and just keep doing that.”  
  
“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”  
  
“Yeah, you’re right,” he threw the book over his shoulder, “Okay, how about we just practice pushing instead? You go first, Steve.”  
 

He looked horrified, “What? Why?”  
  
“Because team effort!”  
  
“Yeah, come on Cap,” Sam grinned, “Do it for the team.”  
  
He shifted uncomfortable, “Um…alright. I’m having a baby. The baby is leaving my body. And, now it’s been born. The end.”  
  
“That was narrating, not pushing.”  
  
“Fine!” he snapped, before contorting his face into a pained look and making a noise that one could only assume was similar to that of a dying animal. Scott winced, “Never mind. Vision, you seem enthusiastic, why don’t you try?”  
  
Vision nodded, and suddenly the room was filled with the screams of a woman who was definitely not Natasha or Wanda. Everyone jumped up in shock and Clint dropped his partner on the floor, “Dude, what the fuck?”  
  
The screaming stopped, “I have the fortunate ability of downloading and adapting any sound that I may find on the worldwide web. That was taken from a lovely video on YouTube of someone giving birth.”  
  
Pietro looked terrified, “That was one of the most horrifying things I’ve seen in recent memory.”  
  
“Okay, I know what we need,” Scott said, getting up to turn on the stereo, “I read that music helps the whole thing go smoother, so I made a birthing playlist.”  
  
Wanda smiled brightly, “That was so thoughtful of you.”  
  
“Yeah, no problem. Here we go.”  
  
The room filled with noise again, this time not screaming, but a song encouraging the listener to “push it real good.” Now Wanda threw a glare at Scott, “What the hell?”  
  
“You know, Push It! Great motivation.”  
  
“What other songs do you have on this playlist?”  
  
“Uh… _I Like to Move It_ , _Sexy and I Know It_ , _Who Let the Dogs Out_ , the Hawaii 5-0 theme music…”  
  
“How will this help me?”  
  
“It’ll pump you up!”    
“Trust me,” Wanda said dryly, “You’re all pumping me up quite enough.”  
  
  
_**6\. You don’t expect that first kick to be so terrifying.**_  
  
“Pietro!” Wanda yelled one morning. He ran back into their room and grabbed her, “Are you okay?”  
  
“Yes!” her eyes were shining, “I’m more than okay! She kicked!”  
  
“What?”  
  
“I felt her!” she grabbed his hand and placed it on her stomach, “Can’t you?”   
Pietro could feel a very faint bump against his hand, “Oh my God. That’s her.”  
  
“Our little girl!” Wanda exclaimed, “This is amazing!” her face fell as soon as she saw the look on his face, “What’s wrong?”  
  
“Nothing,” he took his hand off her, “It just hit me. Like really hit me. That’s our baby in there and we’re going to have to raise her and I-I guess I’m just scared. What if I’m a terrible father?” 

“Oh, my darling brother,” Wanda leaned up to kiss his cheek, “You will be an amazing father. Remember how wonderful you were with the children back in Sokovia? And how much Scott’s daughter adores you?” 

“But this is your child,” he said, “She will be as wonderful as you. How can I ever expect to take care of something so perfect?” 

“She is your child as much as mine. And I’ll admit, I’ve worried about whether or not I will be a good mother myself. But you and I can do anything together,” she clasped his hand in hers, “We will do this this side by side as we always have, and everything will turn out alright. I know that you will be a _wonderful_ dad.”  
  
Pietro smiled and pulled her close, “I don’t deserve you.”  
  
  
  
_**5\. You don’t expect putting a crib together to be so damn hard.**_  
  
Admittedly, this one was their fault. They got the crib from Ikea, and that never turned out well. Rhodey offered to help put it together, but they were all ready to quit after five minutes.  
  
“These directions might as well be in fucking Swedish,” Pietro muttered, “They make no sense. I connected the A bolt to Part 6!”  
  
“I think you needed to connect it to part 6.8,” Wanda squinted at the directions, “Or…wait. What does that say?” 

“I don’t know,” Rhodey snarled as he tried in futile to put two pieces of wood together, “This is ridiculous. I’ve seen weapons in the army that were simpler than this.”  
  
“Try connecting them from the other way around.”  
  
“Okay,” he clicked them together, “Hey, it worked! I don’t know what we were so worried about. This is gonna be a breeze.”  
  
The pieces broke apart as soon as the words were out of his mouth.  
  


**_6\. You don’t expect those final weeks to be so nerve wracking._**  
  
As Wanda neared the end of the pregnancy, Pietro could feel himself growing more and more nervous. Every movement she made, every time she got up, set him on edge. He had a plan on what to do if they had to run to the hospital at a moments notice, even though it was only the beginning the eighth month and everyone told him that he had nothing to worry about for a few more weeks. Pietro wasn’t taking any chances.  
  
This turned out to be a really good thing, because three weeks before her due date, Wanda shook Pietro awake around midnight, “Pietro.”  
  
Her voice was small and shaky, like it always was when she was scared. Pietro was awake immediately, “What’s wrong?” 

“I think my water just broke.”  
  
Pietro moved fast enough so the lights were on and he was dressed in almost an instant, “Okay, let’s go. I’ll just grab the bag and wake up Clint. Where are your shoes? Oh shit, should I call the hospital? It doesn’t matter, let’s just…” he trailed off as he realized that Wanda was shaking uncontrollably and tears were streaming down her face. Pietro wrapped his arm around her, “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”  
  
“I don’t know if I can do this,” her voice broke, “I’m _scared_.”  
  
“Oh, my angel,” he said softly, “I know you can do this. You’ve been so strong these past months. There is nothing in this world that you cannot face. I know it’s scary. I’m scared too,” he squeezed her hand, “But I promise, I will be there the whole time and everything is going to be okay.”  
  
After a moment, Wanda nodded shakily and stood up, “Let’s go.”  
  
  
**_7\. You don’t expect the drive to the hospital to feel so slow._**  
  
Natasha was driving like a maniac, but the ride to the hospital seemed to take forever. It was like every stoplight went out of its way to turn red for them. Wanda was breathing hard, her eyes shut tight, “Oh God. I can’t- _ah_! I can’t do this!”  
  
“Well there’s really no going back now,” Vision said primly, as Pietro snapped at him to shut up. Everyone except Scott seemed wide awake, who turned on the radio up to it’s highest level, practically drowning out Wanda’s moans.  
  
“Turn that shit off!” Clint yelled, “Wanda, are you doing okay?” 

She leaned into Pietro’s arms, “I will be as long as my brother is here.”  
  
He smiled down at her, “I will always be, I promise.”  
  
Sam screeched as Natasha almost drove into a pole.  
  


_**8\. You don’t expect labor to take so long.**_  
  
Pietro had hoped for Wanda’s sake that the whole thing would be over in a flash. But she wasn’t even halfway dilated by the time they got to the hospital, and nothing happened for almost three hours other than her crying and yelling.  
  
“How can it hurt this much already?” she moaned, “Make it stop!”  
  
“I would if I could,” Pietro told her. His heart felt like it was breaking-it had been so long since he’d seen his sister in such pain.  
  
“It hurts.”  
  
“I know, sweetie,” he stroked her hair, “You’re doing so well. You’re almost there. Just breathe, alright?”  
  
“Everything’s coming along well,” said the nurse, “You are almost ready to go.”  
  
Steve didn’t look phased at all, “Come on, Wanda. You’ve got this.”  
  
“This doesn’t freak you out?” she asked weakly.  
  
He shrugged, “My mom was a nurse. Trust me, I saw it all.”  
  
Scott looked pretty calm too, “You’re actually pretty calm. My wife screamed so loud that people could hear her from three doors down. Not that I can blame her or anything…”  
  
At that moment, Pietro made the mistake of joining the nurse in checking Wanda’s progress. All the color immediately drained out of his face, “ _Holy motherfucking shit!_ ”  
  
“You know, I’m pretty sure Wanda was screaming for a different reason the last time you had your face between her legs,” Natasha said dryly.  
  
“Shut up, Romanov!”  
  
_**9\. You don’t expect to feel your whole world change.** _  
  
Wanda threw back her head and screamed. Somewhere between the nurse telling her to push and Pietro murmuring words of comfort in her ear, there was a split second of silence, and then a tiny wail. 

Pietro didn’t realize it was over until he saw Wanda crying tears of joy, “That’s her! That’s our baby!”

“She looks good,” the nurse said, “Small, but healthy as far as I can tell.”  
  
Everything seemed almost blurry until they finally handed Wanda a little bundle. She cradled the baby-their baby close.  
  
“She’s so little,” she whispered, “Look how precious she is. Hello, my sweet little Joyceline.”  
  
Pietro couldn’t tear his eyes away, “She’s so perfect.”  
  
Wanda smiled, “She has your hair.”  
  
There was a little patch of silver on top of Joyceline’s head. She had stopped crying and now her little green eyes were blinking up at them. Wanda looked at her brother, “Would you like to hold her?”  
  
He nodded slowly, and took his daughter in his arms. He half expected her to start crying, but she did nothing at all other than whimper a little bit. Pietro had never been a big crier, and even if he did, it was never in public, but in that moment, he didn’t care.  
  
“Hey,” he whispered, “I’m your dad. And…God, I couldn’t have ever imagined how _perfect_ you’d be. My  little Joy. Wanda, can you believe she’s ours?”  
  
“No,” she said honestly, “I really can’t. And I never could have done this without you, Pietro. I love you. I love you both so much.”  
  
Pietro gently kissed his daughter’s forehead and handed her back to Wanda so he could pull her close, “And I love you both too. More than I can ever say.”  
  
_**10\. You don’t expect it to be so worth it all.** _


End file.
